Will Therapy Help Me?

Will Therapy Help Me?

by | Jun 5, 2018 | Counseling, Mental Health, Psychology, Therapy

If you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking about going to therapy. Maybe it’s your first time and you’re not sure what to expect. Maybe you’ve had some negative experiences and you’re not sure if this time around will be different.

First, I want to let you know that you are taking a step toward changing your life for the better. Whatever you’re going through, whatever has happened, you do not have to do this alone. When you step into my office, you will be with someone who will sit with you through the pain, the tears, the anger, all of it.

You likely have had some thoughts and events in your life you haven’t shared with anyone, or only with a few close people. A huge part of the therapeutic process is the relationship between you and your chosen therapist. As you get to know them, you will build trust. I don’t expect you to tell me everything the first moment you meet me. You’re in vulnerable place and it’s more than okay to take whatever time you need in order to share your story. You’ve lived a whole lifetime already, so there’s a lot to say and there will be plenty of time for it. I will be patient and respectful of your boundaries.

From time to time, I may call your attention to what is going on in session. For example, I might share my experience of you in session and connect it to how others in your life interact with you. I might ask about what your experience of me is or how our therapeutic relationship is going. This feedback can be useful for both of us to discover other areas needing our focus and allowing for openness of communication.

There’s a common misconception that people who seek therapy have to have serious problems. That is not the case, and all types of people are in therapy. Therapy has the potential to help anyone who is committed to the process of change and learning about themselves. Sometimes there are stressful periods in life with work, family, school, or your physical health and having a supportive professional to hear your concerns can lessen the burden of feeling alone with your worries. Also, you are never too old for therapy. Every day that you are here is a chance to make a change.

But will therapy help you in particular? The answer is that depends. It’s highly dependent on what it is you are seeking and your involvement along the way. Therapy is not something that happens to you. It’s very much an active process. Each session is an event we co-create, and what happens in that room (and outside of it) is driven by both the content (what you say) and the context (what’s happening between you and I). I believe by attending to both of these pieces, we set the stage for powerful insights and self-knowledge.

Starting therapy can feel risky and bring up anxiety for the reasons I’ve discussed above, and maybe some others I haven’t mentioned. However, I want you to know you can feel nervous, and still take the leap to begin. If you’re ready to start a new chapter in your life, you can contact me below. I’m looking forward to speaking with you!

Contact us today to schedule an appointment.
What I Learned From My Cat

What I Learned From My Cat

by | May 24, 2018 | Mental Health, Psychology, Relationships, Self Care

I have a cat named Shadow, who is pretty fantastic. Shadow is a tuxedo tabby, grey and white, with deep golden eyes, and the most exciting tail you’ve ever seen. (It vibrates when he’s really happy or interested in something!) Although all cats are best cat, Shadow views life through a lens from which we might consider examining our circumstances. For Shadow, hope springs eternal. Every time a can opens, it might be tuna fish. With each breakfast plate placed on the table, a chance for delicious buttery toast. (He REALLY likes butter.)

Shadow isn’t content with me simply telling him I’m opening a can of diced tomatoes. He continues to meow and try to look on the counter until I allow him to inspect the can. He knows immediately there is a distinct lack of tuna smell, and hence, no tuna. Then he walks off.

It got me thinking. Shadow doesn’t take what I say as fact. However, humans often listen to what other humans say and accept it as “Truth,” whether there’s any factual basis to what’s being said or not. Even worse, we might act on our own thoughts as facts when we don’t necessarily have sufficient evidence to make an informed decision. What I’m saying is maybe we need to smell the can first and then decide for ourselves.

Shadow is an expert on self-care. When he is tired, he sleeps. When he is hungry, he eats. When he is scared or uncertain, he looks for comfort. He actively seeks me out to meet his needs for physical touch and attention. He enjoys playing with a variety of toys, and sometimes discovers something novel to entertain himself. How often do we allow ourselves to have a random moment of fun? How well are we taking care of ourselves?

The takeaway here is we could do with a little more time and attention to our own needs, and it’s important that when those needs involve others, we openly and actively reach out to them to let them know. After all, we can’t read each other’s minds (and if you really think about it, you probably wouldn’t want to, anyway).

I know Shadow doesn’t have a job to stress him out, though he is sensitive to my moods and emotions. Many a time have I paced around the house (especially during graduate school) unaware of how much restless, nervous energy I was experiencing. I suddenly found my ankles nipped. He wanted me to settle down. His method of “encouraging” me to check-in with myself resulted in increased awareness of my emotional states. Periodically throughout the day, we can ask ourselves what are we feeling, and connect those feelings to our thoughts and what’s happening around us.

So, am I telling you to get a cat? No, but I’m not *not* telling you to get a cat. (Cats are pretty great, but my bias is clearly showing.) My hope is that regardless of whether you have the experience of being a cat owner, sharing what I’ve learned from my cat might be of some help to you and get you thinking more about taking time to care for yourself. Sometimes we could all use just a minute or two to put down the “to do” list, slow down, sit in a sunbeam, and soak up the day.

Contact us today to schedule an appointment.
My First Blog Post

My First Blog Post

by | May 24, 2018 | Mental Health, Psychology, Therapy

I talk to people all the time. Probably every day. I’ve also written quite a bit. Spending over a decade in universities will do that to you. (Why I was in school for such a long time is a story for a later date, though I will share with you it involves Indiana Jones and cats.) But writing a blog?

Never.

Until now.

That sounded more ominous than I intended. Back to the matter at hand. As a psychologist, I generally spend more of my time listening than talking, and when I do talk, it’s rarely focused on my life and experiences. Those of us in my line of work tend to have a well-defined line between our personal selves and our professional selves. However, I think blogging gives me the opportunity to speak more informally and lets you see more of who I am as a person, behind the titles and fancy letters.

I’m often asked by clients and people outside of mental health whether I “like” my job. I deeply love the work I do, and I am honored every time someone shares their story in my office. I know it can be nerve-wracking for many folks to even consider telling “a stranger” about their struggles, especially when it comes to things they haven’t shared with anyone. It’s common to fear being judged, and it’s hard to suddenly let go of that fear, especially if you have been judged harshly by others in the past.

It’s okay to be afraid and to still have your guard up. I don’t expect new clients to feel ready to explore all their painful areas. Actually, I don’t expect that of current clients, either. Part of our work together is you letting me know when you feel prepared to “go there,” because I respect your boundaries. We may check-in from time to time to see where you are, because circumstances change and we find ourselves in different headspaces as time passes.

Clients also tend to wonder what I do outside of the therapy room. Although my work is a major component of my life, I spend quite a bit of time reading. Many books are professionally related, and if you are interested in helpful reading outside of therapy, I am happy to share titles that I or other folks have found helpful. I also enjoy reading history and historical fiction, philosophy, classical literature, and horror (both Gothic and modern).

During the spring and summer, I can be found gardening (or trying to learn about gardening as this is a newer hobby for me). I also try to take walks in my neighborhood when weather permits. One thing I really love doing regardless of seasons is cooking. I watch all kinds of cooking shows, and have a growing library of cookbooks and recipes. Making stock from scratch and chopping up ingredients are both activities I find therapeutic. Plus, I feel accomplished I can nourish myself and others. I learned to cook as an adult on my own, so I don’t take my ability to cook for granted because there was a long time where I wasn’t able to prepare many dishes.

I didn’t know I wanted to be a psychologist when I was younger. Actually, I wanted to be an archaeologist into my early adulthood. This is where Indiana Jones comes in, as you may have guessed. I grew up watching those movies and always looked forward to visiting museums. It seemed like a natural fit, and that’s why my academic background includes history degrees. Eventually, I decided this path wasn’t for me and I took some time to decide where my career path was calling me. I chose clinical psychology because it afforded me the opportunity to work in a variety of areas across multiple types of settings. I’ve been able to provide therapy, psychological assessment (testing), supervision, and create educational workshops. I want to help people alleviate suffering, become more aware of themselves, and learn new things. My work is fulfilling and I can see myself growing as a professional for the rest of my life in it.

Thanks for reading!

If you’d like to work with me, please give me a call or send me a message here. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Contact us today to schedule an appointment.