What I Learned From My Cat

What I Learned From My Cat

I have a cat named Shadow, who is pretty fantastic. Shadow is a tuxedo tabby, grey and white, with deep golden eyes, and the most exciting tail you’ve ever seen. (It vibrates when he’s really happy or interested in something!) Although all cats are best cat, Shadow views life through a lens from which we might consider examining our circumstances. For Shadow, hope springs eternal. Every time a can opens, it might be tuna fish. With each breakfast plate placed on the table, a chance for delicious buttery toast. (He REALLY likes butter.)

Shadow isn’t content with me simply telling him I’m opening a can of diced tomatoes. He continues to meow and try to look on the counter until I allow him to inspect the can. He knows immediately there is a distinct lack of tuna smell, and hence, no tuna. Then he walks off.

It got me thinking. Shadow doesn’t take what I say as fact. However, humans often listen to what other humans say and accept it as “Truth,” whether there’s any factual basis to what’s being said or not. Even worse, we might act on our own thoughts as facts when we don’t necessarily have sufficient evidence to make an informed decision. What I’m saying is maybe we need to smell the can first and then decide for ourselves.

Shadow is an expert on self-care. When he is tired, he sleeps. When he is hungry, he eats. When he is scared or uncertain, he looks for comfort. He actively seeks me out to meet his needs for physical touch and attention. He enjoys playing with a variety of toys, and sometimes discovers something novel to entertain himself. How often do we allow ourselves to have a random moment of fun? How well are we taking care of ourselves?

The takeaway here is we could do with a little more time and attention to our own needs, and it’s important that when those needs involve others, we openly and actively reach out to them to let them know. After all, we can’t read each other’s minds (and if you really think about it, you probably wouldn’t want to, anyway).

I know Shadow doesn’t have a job to stress him out, though he is sensitive to my moods and emotions. Many a time have I paced around the house (especially during graduate school) unaware of how much restless, nervous energy I was experiencing. I suddenly found my ankles nipped. He wanted me to settle down. His method of “encouraging” me to check-in with myself resulted in increased awareness of my emotional states. Periodically throughout the day, we can ask ourselves what are we feeling, and connect those feelings to our thoughts and what’s happening around us.

So, am I telling you to get a cat? No, but I’m not *not* telling you to get a cat. (Cats are pretty great, but my bias is clearly showing.) My hope is that regardless of whether you have the experience of being a cat owner, sharing what I’ve learned from my cat might be of some help to you and get you thinking more about taking time to care for yourself. Sometimes we could all use just a minute or two to put down the “to do” list, slow down, sit in a sunbeam, and soak up the day.

My First Blog Post

My First Blog Post

I talk to people all the time. Probably every day. I’ve also written quite a bit. Spending over a decade in universities will do that to you. (Why I was in school for such a long time is a story for a later date, though I will share with you it involves Indiana Jones and cats.) But writing a blog?

Never.

Until now.

That sounded more ominous than I intended. Back to the matter at hand. As a psychologist, I generally spend more of my time listening than talking, and when I do talk, it’s rarely focused on my life and experiences. Those of us in my line of work tend to have a well-defined line between our personal selves and our professional selves. However, I think blogging gives me the opportunity to speak more informally and lets you see more of who I am as a person, behind the titles and fancy letters.

I’m often asked by clients and people outside of mental health whether I “like” my job. I deeply love the work I do, and I am honored every time someone shares their story in my office. I know it can be nerve-wracking for many folks to even consider telling “a stranger” about their struggles, especially when it comes to things they haven’t shared with anyone. It’s common to fear being judged, and it’s hard to suddenly let go of that fear, especially if you have been judged harshly by others in the past.

It’s okay to be afraid and to still have your guard up. I don’t expect new clients to feel ready to explore all their painful areas. Actually, I don’t expect that of current clients, either. Part of our work together is you letting me know when you feel prepared to “go there,” because I respect your boundaries. We may check-in from time to time to see where you are, because circumstances change and we find ourselves in different headspaces as time passes.

Clients also tend to wonder what I do outside of the therapy room. Although my work is a major component of my life, I spend quite a bit of time reading. Many books are professionally related, and if you are interested in helpful reading outside of therapy, I am happy to share titles that I or other folks have found helpful. I also enjoy reading history and historical fiction, philosophy, classical literature, and horror (both Gothic and modern).

During the spring and summer, I can be found gardening (or trying to learn about gardening as this is a newer hobby for me). I also try to take walks in my neighborhood when weather permits. One thing I really love doing regardless of seasons is cooking. I watch all kinds of cooking shows, and have a growing library of cookbooks and recipes. Making stock from scratch and chopping up ingredients are both activities I find therapeutic. Plus, I feel accomplished I can nourish myself and others. I learned to cook as an adult on my own, so I don’t take my ability to cook for granted because there was a long time where I wasn’t able to prepare many dishes.

I didn’t know I wanted to be a psychologist when I was younger. Actually, I wanted to be an archaeologist into my early adulthood. This is where Indiana Jones comes in, as you may have guessed. I grew up watching those movies and always looked forward to visiting museums. It seemed like a natural fit, and that’s why my academic background includes history degrees. Eventually, I decided this path wasn’t for me and I took some time to decide where my career path was calling me. I chose clinical psychology because it afforded me the opportunity to work in a variety of areas across multiple types of settings. I’ve been able to provide therapy, psychological assessment (testing), supervision, and create educational workshops. I want to help people alleviate suffering, become more aware of themselves, and learn new things. My work is fulfilling and I can see myself growing as a professional for the rest of my life in it.

Thanks for reading!

If you’d like to work with me, please give me a call or send me a message here. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.